"Goodbye Lover 2": a rational view of marriage and variety shows

    "Goodbye Love 2" returns in anticipation.

    Needless to say, the word-of-mouth of the first season is almost the most watched variety show in and out of the circle this year, whether it is popularity or intention. Mango’s many years of emotional variety show skills are fully displayed in this show, and the original version has been improved very successfully. , three couples who have been divorced or are on the road to divorce travel separately, and become a joint travel. Compared with being alone, the communication process of the six people is easier to excavate the process of marriage from tacit understanding and sweetness to jittery, and then to not wanting to communicate, and to display it in the sun and be discussed.

    The successful experience does not need to be changed, and the format of the program has not changed much, it is still composed of travel reality show + post interview + observation room. Judging from the first season, the team of observers that Mango hired for this show was very successful, and this season has hardly changed. Hu Yanbin, Guo Caijie, Sun Yi, Huang Zhizhong, Qian Zhe, and Shen Yifei all returned, only Li Weijia was replaced by Yi Lijing , Gina will be a guest for two episodes. The configuration of these guests ensures that there are both male and female perspectives. Huang Zhizhong and Shen Yifei talked about some higher-level thinking, while several other stars observed and felt from a more emotional perspective.

    Song Ningfeng, Zhang Wanting

    The program process to be completed by the three pairs of protagonists is also the same as that of the first season. They are galloping across the vast northwest land. Write a travel diary, talk about what the other party wants to say, and make a choice on a card to divorce or not to divorce.

    If the reasons for the divorce of the guests in the first season all included the decency of literary and artistic people, the question of self, the question of whether marriage should be romantic or bread, and the question of loneliness, then this season is closer to the broken marriage of ordinary people.

    Zhang Wanting and Song Ningfeng were the first to hit the trending searches and solve the KPI for the show, and they were also the only couple in the show who hadn't divorced yet. The relationship between the two is both complicated and pure. Zhang Wanting is an agent and the business partner of actor Song Ningfeng. They have a two-year-old child. Zhang Wanting is the one who filed for divorce.

    After she experienced the first failed marriage in Song Ningfeng, whether it was out of love or admiration, she took the initiative to approach Song Ningfeng, and said something that moved Song Ningfeng when they were only in love for less than a month, "I want to give You have a baby."

    This kind of entrustment may be too anxious. After making this decision, she immediately realized that it is too fast to change from a couple to a child's parent. The main problem between the two is "unfamiliarity". She wants to speed up the process of mutual understanding between the two. But she chose to throw her lowest and unreasonable appearance into her life, and kept making demands on Song Ningfeng. Once she was not satisfied, she would be disappointed and feel pain, and turned this pain into emotional venting.

    Song Ningfeng always believes that this is a problem of getting along, not a problem of "people". He just has an opinion on Zhang Wanting's "hegemony", but he will not want a divorce. different understanding. For example, she said that she cried when she was pregnant, and Song Ningfeng handed tissues and poured water, but because he didn't ask "what's the matter with you", she thought it was "cold violence".

    In the first two episodes, Maggie Cheung produced too many "suffocating" moments. If the first episode showed that the two had children and got married too quickly, the second episode of Zhang Wanting and another guest Lu Ge Zhang Wanting's quarrel, and her attack on Song Ningfeng, made their marital problems look like Zhang Wanting's character. She accused Song Ningfeng of not caring about her to everyone, and brought home the emotions of acting, accusing him of being old, not good enough in his career, and being a "fool". Under extreme disappointment, she could only try to attack Song Ningfeng and speak for him The "cool feeling" brought about by his friend and deprivation of his right to speak relieves disappointment.

    From here on, this pair triggered a huge discussion. The discussion on them has gone beyond the scope of marriage. Maggie Cheung has become the center of discussion on the character or personality of a class of people. The guests in the observation room first raised this feeling. Hu Yanbin said: "Her purpose is to make her husband feel indebted, and then willing to listen to her, so that everyone at the scene can help her mind control together." Shen Yifei proposed from a theoretical point of view that Zhang Wanting's inconsistency in accusing the problem before and after is manipulating the facts.

    Shen Yifei believes that Zhang Wanting is "manipulating the facts".

    Huang Zhizhong also concluded during the activity of playing Frisbee that Zhang Wanting tried to cut off the interpersonal network that brought happiness to Song Ningfeng.

    Huang Zhizhong's analysis

    Some netizens suggested that Zhang Wanting may be a special personality, such as NPD personality (Narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic pathological personality).

    Although Zhang Wanting seems to have turned back to a "normal person" in the third issue, and Song Ningfeng's shouting to her also made people's hearts suddenly soften, but everyone's discussions about this couple almost fell on Zhang Wanting's personal character, which deviated from the Husband and wife get along (actually, Song Ningfeng chose not to divorce in the third period). Only a small part of the discussion believed that Song Ningfeng did not give Zhang Wanting the sense of security she deserved, and did not fill the void in her heart. A virtuous relationship should heal each other's inner emptiness, not inspire each other's "evil" in a worse direction. Obviously, Song Ningfeng is not Zhang Wanting's healer.

    Whether Zhang Wanting has a huge personality defect can be judged by a professional psychologist, but in this couple who sometimes flirt with life and death, and sometimes hook shoulders to each other to confess to each other, the inspiration we can see is that first Let yourself grow up, at least become an adult who faces yourself, and then decide on emotions, and then decide whether to become a father or mother.

    the meaning of having a child

    What needs to be noticed is that it is understandable for netizens to sympathize with or be angry about some clips that poke themselves, but some netizens may have a strong sense of substitution. Her Weibo hurls insults at her, even her family members. A guest who takes his personal affairs as work on a show is an inevitable consequence of being criticized, but being personally attacked involves cyber violence. The audience should not lose their education if they watch a show.

    But from another perspective, no matter how real the marital status shown by the guests on the show is, this truth must be quoted. Don't forget, this is a show, the camera is surrounded by at least a dozen staff members behind the camera, and the "reality" of everything on the recording scene is at most close to the real, and the emotions may be amplified, more dramatic, with no dead ends and nothing to worry about. The big and small post-acquisition will infinitely magnify every second of marriage together, whether it is an artist or an ordinary person, it may not be able to withstand such a magnification. The reason why "Goodbye Lover" has a reputation is because the program actually intends to discuss all similar "things" in marriage, not similar "people". The reason why Zhang Wanting became the person she is today is due to her growth experience and The reason for the emotional shaping of the original family, no one can reproduce these experiences, but the reason why she can trigger such a huge amount of discussion is that everything she does and every word she says, the discussion should try to return to the event itself .

    In both of the remaining couples, "equality" was the key word in their marriages.

    Lu Ge and Su Shiding are couples who have been divorced for a year and a half. Both of them are vague when it comes to why they divorced. They can only be summed up as the result of separation in different places. They appear to be the least problematic at first glance compared to the other two pairs. One is a singer and the other is an artist, and there were times when they were extremely romantic, but when faced with career choices, no one wanted to give up their jobs, and the long-term separation made the relationship fade.

    Lu Ge mentioned that he wants a home, and Su Shiding has been busy with work in Beijing, and has no time to take care of their relationship and pay attention to his emotions. When he was suffering from depression, Su Shiding didn't notice either.

    Maybe it was originally a peaceful breakup, but this pair sometimes showed respect for each other, and sometimes showed some tenderness for the beautiful past.

    During the mutual acting, Lu Ge naturally leaned against Su Shiding's back, and Su Shiding had tears in his eyes.

    This couple is very similar to the Japanese movie "Love Like a Bouquet". Maybe both of them still love each other, and they are still attracted by each other's strengths and characters, but when love enters marriage, sacrifice, compromise, and sacrifice are inevitable. The theme is that no one should sacrifice for whom, but when two people become a family, there will be changes in personal space and development. If the emotions cannot be grounded and the future cannot be planned together, then all the good things will eventually end. Try to trust each other, and timely communication of two people's views on the future is essential in marriage. If good results cannot be communicated, separation might not be a kind of equality.

    equal relationship

    Perhaps equality cannot bring about the best marriage, but equality can at least bring about a better self. Su Shiding later said in a chat that he also suffered from depression for a period of time before he understood Lu Ge's pain at that time. At this time, both of them may have completed their own psychological growth, and when they meet again, they will treat this relationship more rationally. Divorce is not a failure, it's just that the two are not right for each other.

    There is also a group of guests, Ai Wei, the golden supporting role in Hong Kong movies, and his wife Lisa, who have been married for 18 years and separated for two years. This couple's marriage is embarrassing.

    Ai Wei complained from the very beginning that he spent all his family money to treat his wife who fell ill in 2014, took good care of her, and loved her for many years, but he really couldn't stand Lisa playing mahjong. He thinks that his wife doesn't care about her body when she goes out to play mahjong all night, doesn't value what he has done in the past, and is irresponsible for their future.

    This relationship is one to ponder and most controversial. From Aiwei's point of view, although Lisa only played mahjong once a week, it was a good agreement between them not to play mahjong. Lisa did not take his words seriously when she repeatedly violated him knowing his bottom line. But for Lisa, she has controlled the duration and frequency of playing mahjong to a very low level. This is the only activity she can escape from the shackles of her family, and even from thinking about life and death. Why not? Judging from their dinner parties and their interactions, Lisa is the one who does housework, cooks and takes care of the family, while Ai Wei is the traditional image of a big man.

    Shen Yifei concluded that Aiwei is "there is only one standard, and you can only implement it. This is not an equal relationship." In the second issue, Huang Jue's wife Maizi also asked many questions that the audience wanted to ask, "Do you want Lisa not to play mahjong, or do you think she is disobedient?" Ai Wei's answer was, "Disobedient". Aiwei has emphasized his own standards for more than ten years, and when he found out that Lisa would not implement them anyway, he decided to leave.

    "Inequality" is very important in their relationship. Aiwei never gave his wife an equal opportunity to express his needs and feelings. He thinks he is the "right". Originally Lisa could endure this inequality silently, but playing mahjong is the only point she doesn't want to compromise. In fact, what this couple solves is not "playing mahjong", but whether they can get along with each other on an equal footing. This is also the most common problem faced by traditional families. If there is no equality, even if they are 60 years old or married for 18 years, the problem will still explode. .

    wheat's question

    Ivy's answer

    In the past few days, the matter of Wang Xiaofei and Big S once again dominated the hot searches, and once again demonstrated the influence of a bad marriage. In the traditional concept, marriage is a matter between two families, so divorce has to be accompanied by children's problems and family quarrels, but "Goodbye Lover" makes people come out of the turmoil and leave the big family behind. Going back to the original point, marriage is after all a shura field for two people. All the problems may come from the two people themselves, whether they love each other, whether they understand each other, whether they are equal or not.


    Leave a Reply

    + =